Dompen Vapes

Dompens! Vapes with the exact personality traits you would expect from someone — or I guess, something — named Dom: slick, smooth and curiously charming, but a power player at his core, utterly unafraid to wallop you on your ass.

(I guess most people would have thought to make the dominant/dominatrix reference, but alas, welcome to my world…of being from the Tri-State area.) 

Confession time (because obviously I’m stoned while writing this): I’ve been horribly afraid of the dark for well over a decade. The second of three shrinks I saw throughout the years and I had a tempestuous relationship. I thought she judged me for my belief that the serial killers who stood over me as soon as I closed my eyes could successfully be warded off if I slept with my head underneath a down quilt — and she TOTALLY did, if only after realizing it must have been at LEAST 150 degrees Fahrenheit under there. All those expensive acne treatments I charged to my mother’s credit card wouldn’t have been necessary had I simply stopped giving myself profuse night sweats. 

The reason I bring this up is because the other night I had a bizarre regression into my illogical fears, anxiously opening my eyes every 75 seconds to validate that Michael Myers was not, in fact, getting ready to pounce on my silk pajama-clad frame with a butcher knife. (FYI, I have never seen Halloween.)

I tried to breathe deeply. I tried to count sheep (and dream of the wool sweaters I’d be wearing in Paris this winter). I even tried to, ah, diddle my fiddle. Nothing worked; I was a mess. Until I remembered I had a Midnight Berry Indica Pen in my possession. One five-second rip of this thing and your girl was cooler than a cucumber. Nah — I was cold as ice! The anxiety was goner than the wind! I’ll stop now, but the point has been made; approximately four minutes later, I was fast asleep.

As a lightweight, I try not to smoke Indica strains during daylight hours. However, this pen could also be tremendous for somebody with generalized anxiety and a (wise) distaste for prescription medication. With an ultra-subtle black design and fruity scent, you can hit it at your desk, your parents’ dinner table, or while outside your ex’s house without leaving a trace. Puff puff, don’t pass on the Dom.