I've talked at length about my obsessive desire (and, realistically, only part-time reality) to eliminate prescription pills from my life. Easier said than done, but hands down, the best solution I've found through my research is a big, fat, classic JOINT TO THE FACE. Indica, sativa, skunky shit from outer boroughs, oregano in a baggie -- there's a type of weed for each of your demons' appetites. 

However, unlike myself, most professionals are not creative freelancers, which means they cannot be high as hell all day and call it part of the “artistic process.” (I don’t envy them.) So, CBD to the rescue! But as I'm sure you've realized by now, this hemp craze has led the market to become oversaturated with products, and it's next to impossible to figure out what's gonna heal your pain, fear, and existential dread, and what's simply going to make it worse. I'm here to help. 

But real quick -- first, once and for all, let's review what CBD EVEN FUCKING IS. 

Simply put, CBD is the component of weed that is not THC, meaning it is non-psychoactive, meaning it will not fuck with your head (unlike your latest crush). What it will do is calm you down like a nibble of Xanax, center you like 30 minutes of meditation, and/or alleviate pain like Advil. There’s no risk of overdosing on CBD, because it acts like a vitamin: the body can only absorb so much. The worst that can happen is nausea — which, don’t get me wrong, sucks, but at least you won’t have to deal with horrendous hospital lighting.

Dosage-wise, if taken orally (oil, gummy, etc.), I’m usually cool with 10-15mg. That said, for those newer to the game, I'd DEFINITELY recommend starting at 5; it can be strong, and so is my tolerance. If used topically (skincare), make sure the bottle contains a couple hundred mg. Otherwise, you're not getting bang for your buck, and you'll quickly discover these products are expensive. Like anything else you'd put in or on your body, it's always best to go organic, and do some research into production practices. 

My recommendations, as of summer 2018:

Lily  (oil)

L'Fleur (lip balm, skin rash cream)

Lovewell Farms (CBD/reiki infused Honey & Lollipops!) 

Verte (everything)

Wildflower (vapes)

Also, I'm so[oooo] proud to announce that I've spearheaded House of Gro's CBD blog! If you're looking for more digestible education about CBD, or just another excuse to hear my unwarranted opinions, check it out. I post a new one a week!

Happy (legal) High, kids.