THE CRAZY SHIT I DO TO MAKE SURE THAT I MYSELF DO NOT GO CRAZY (aka surviving the apocalypse without pills)

I don’t need to be the one to tell you that drugs, even prescription ones, do nothing more than glaze your donut-shaped soul (empty in the middle, get it?). That hole can only be filled by self-work. But therapy is expensive, and takes forever, and is…annoying, and sometimes you just need a fucking remedy immediately. After years of practice, I’ve finally solidified an effective, sustainable weekday routine that’s a little more natural than pill popping. Here’s my version of the absurdly boring and passé “What I Eat In A Day” profile.

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[QUITTING] SMOKING

There are voids in some times and places that can only be filled by smoking. Like, obviously, those exhausted, vulnerable moments after sex. (Although honestly, eating pizza or ice cream — even the vegan kind — totally works too.) Or what about after a huge fight with someone you really care about, that culminated in one of you storming out? Or when dealing with writer’s block? Or while on a contemplative walk through a city at night? …Basically, smoke is the missing puzzle piece in all the really pretentious moments that make up my absurd life.

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